Ansley (The Spirit Chick)Return to Bio
The Asylum: The Ghost of the Faceless Mental Patient
Okay, so it's been quite sometime since I told you one of my ghost stories. For the most part, we talk about the same few experiences over and over again (like the hat man, or my first paranormal experience with a poltergeist). But today, I want to tell you one that's a little different, one that you haven't heard the story of yet. And honestly, it's probably one of my scariest experiences to this day (yes, believe it or not even I have gotten scared).
This is a story that has left a lingering impact on me even now, a year later. Writing it was hard for me. I was overcome with sadness as I typed every word, but I feel it is a story that should be shared. I've briefly mentioned my encounter with the spirit of the mental patient before on our weekly LIVE stream, but I never dove in depth with it and the lingering effects it left on me. So here it is, one of my more intense & heavier paranormal experiences. Dim the lights, sit by the fire, and let me tell you a spooky story that happened one fall evening when a young girl wandered into an old mental hospital...
⬫.⬪.⬫.⬪.⬫.⬪.⬫.⬪.It was a typical end-of-the-summer kind of day when I traveled to an old, worn down asylum that was tucked away & forgotten in the California woods. The leaves were changing colors, drying with each coming day, while the heat was unbearable, with a touch of a cool fall breeze in the air. The essence of the atmosphere held a cold feeling, one that I feared wasn't from the weather. I still remember the smell as I stood in front of that building. It reeked of old paint, with the rotting paint chips scattered about the dry red dirt to prove it. The mold infested wood held a decaying moisture of a stereotypical forgotten building, one that was overwhelming with nausea. The walls were permanently penetrated with a haunting black mold & a lack of use that decayed throughout the years. I glanced from window to window, finding each and every one blackened out with wooden planks, as if to keep the dark secrets that filled the halls from ever escaping. Despite the minimal sense of life at this place, the energy here was far from negligible. Before I had even stepped out of the car, I knew that this location had seen darker things than just the somber shadows that graffitied the spiraling corridors. No mistake made, my chest filled with a pressure heavier than the usual oppression that followed locations with a history such as this one. It was obvious that these planks of rotting wood held within them the memory of murder, abuse, neglect, and even massacre playing forever on a treacherous loop.
Evidently, there was quite a dark history that followed this building, and from what I've read, it claimed the lives of many. This wooden chamber of insanity was said to contain a mental patient (that of which I will not reveal the name of out of respect) that broke out of here many years ago, and shot and killed several people at this hospital and at a local diner in town. After that, the building was condemned, and the town buried it's secret as a disgraceful 'legend' that none of the locals seemed to want to talk about.
One very notorious story of a lingering nurse that was killed on the steps here drew me in. I wanted to help and others here find their light in such a mournful, fiendish place.
I'd visited this location many times over my years growing from an amateur investigator. My first trip I brought my K2 meter & digital camera looking for ghosts. But now, a more experienced investigator, I came with nothing more than my trained senses & the intention to communicate with spirits. I walked empty-handed as I searched for answers. I'm not sure if it's the pull from the tragic dark history, it's silent bloodcurdling screams for help, or the haunting energy that has wrapped it's icy fingers around my very soul, but this building has always beckoned me. No matter what it was, I knew I needed to get in there & find what my connection was & put it to rest once and for all.
I've always smirked at the fact that as you walk up to this building, it feels like you're walking into battle. Locking eyes with the boarded up main entrance, walking up the stairs that saw such a dark despair of history. I swear the environment around you fades into twilight, and the focal light beams on only you and this building. The birds don't sing when you're here, almost as if they've forgotten their tune, or perhaps are aware of the caliginous presence that doesn't care to sing along. I believe a big addition to the heavy presence here is the cemetery located directly behind it. These patients here were reminded everyday of their fate as they glanced out these very same windows that I did not so long ago. Locked in a wooden box, waiting for the day that death would choose them.
Isaac had accompanied me on this journey. This was to be his first time entering the building, & it would also prove to be his last. He's not as sensitive spiritually as I am, and approaches things a little more cautiously, so it would be interesting to see if he would pick up the same things I did.
Upon entering the building, there lies old, water-drenched records scattered about, decaying & deteriorating away from the essence of time itself. Broken glass litters every inch of the floor like headstones of a cemetery, with a mess of vulgar graffiti that silences you around ever turn. At each corner, there lingers broken & dented-in doors that resembled something you'd see in a penitentiary. Harshly boarded windows block the slightest drop of light from ever entering this hell chamber, and it honestly seemed very fitting. Shredded, rat infested couches crowd against the walls, and the utter feeling of being stripped naked by the eyes that lurk in the darkness was heavily prominent. It looked like people were preparing for the zombie apocalypse, but fell victim to a raid of fangs from the undead plague themselves.
|(A picture of the corridor to offer you perspective to how dark it was).|
I begun getting flash images in my head of out-of-their-mind patients staring at me from the doorways of their rooms. Some I thought might see me as a nurse and think of me as a savior, while others may see me as a nurse and see me as a neglector, ultimately depending on how they were treated here. I remember staring down that hallway for what felt like hours, but what must've been only seconds. I questioned if I should continue on, or if I should turn back.
I felt a pull of energy tugging in my gut like a noose, and something so minuscule but urgent was telling me to proceed.
Despite my pull, I kept getting a mixed repeated warning in my gut as well: Danger. Get out.
I didn't know which end of my intuition to trust.
I carefully took slow steps down the blackened hall, listening only to the sound of glass crunching beneath my Converse. The pressure of the hall felt like an icicle carving into my shoulders with a shocking & agonizingly slow speed.
"My name is Ansley," my voice echoed like a broken record through the seemingly endless miles of corridors.
"I don't mean to intrude, and I'm not here to threaten you. I'm here to help you, if you so desire," I continued on. The only thing I could see was that ever-fading reflection of my light from the glass window on the jail-like door at the end of the hall. It kept my certainty at ease.
"I know a lot of bad things happened here. Trust me, I can feel it," I continued on. I closed my eyes, falling victim to the overwhelming feeling of sadness that haunted this desolate chamber. My visions continued, and the pleas for help, the mentally insane screaming for justice was all so painfully overlooked. I felt it as if I was one of those patients strapped to the bed, screaming for someone, anyone to notice me. But everyone looked at you like an inhuman beast. In a building so large, you were an ant. You were nothing.
"What they did here was wrong. And I am so sorry for that," I said. I could feel my eyes swelling with sadness as I experienced what felt like the empathic draining of every last happy emotion in my entire existence. "Even if you did bad in your life, you can still find peace. You can still be forgiven." I offered. It felt like I was standing here giving a speech to hundreds within these walls. But to the physical eye, it was just an empty building and I, & it's oh-so painful unspoken history.
"To those that lost their lives too soon, I am so sorry. It never should have been taken from you," I added. "And to the notorious nurse that was killed here..." I paused, glancing around as I felt people peek further out from their rooms at me. "I feel you," I said, feeling a lighter feeling in my chest. "You were too young." I said softly, starting to receive characteristic in my mind of this young lady. I felt her as if she was the light in this dark chamber. I felt her as someone that everyone cared about, and that cared for everyone. And most of all, I felt her right here.
There was so much pain here, but she was a light.
"You can still find your happiness," I began, speaking to no one in particular. "I can help you to do so."
I started seeing flash images in my mind of nurses walking the halls beside me as they scanned through a mess of papers. The scratching sounds of screaming patients that didn't want to cooperate with violent care-takers also forcefully filled my ears. And the darkened eyes of the insane who lost every inch of their mind to what is the fear of their own disturbing existence peered into my very soul.
I paused in the middle of the hallway. "Do you need help?" I said, finally glancing once behind me, daring to look for the shadow people that I know were disguising themselves carefully in the shadows of the various rooms.
Isaac slowly & silently went from room to room, peering into each along the long corridor, but I remember feeling pulled away from him. I knew the energy here had the intention to separate us, but I was too intrigued with where my gut was pulling me to care (it's important to note that I'm used to solo investigating, but it is never a good idea to separate from your team! Stick together!).
I knew something was going to happen if I was alone, so I separated myself. I couldn't shake the feeling that it was meant for my eyes only.
There was a room to the far left at the end of the corridor that I was pulled to. Something about this room gave me the most uncomfortable feeling in the world. It resembled that of extreme anxiety, like you were running on nothing but adrenaline in a life or death situation. The door to that room was closed, but out of the miles underground that this building was, that was the oneroom that I knew I needed to go into. I was alone, with a dim light that was nearly out of battery, and I had separated from Isaac.
Walking up to this door became the hardest task in the world. I couldn't tell you what propelled me to grab hold of that cold, dingy doorknob, or why I had such a strong need to, but I just felt something in that room called to me. With eyes piercing my back, I glanced behind me down the darkened hall as I begun to turn it. My eyes saw nothing but an empty hall, but my intuition saw shadows frozen dead in their tracks watching my every move. The second I began to turn that squeaky little doorknob, something moved very quickly in that room behind the door, and I heard the scuttle of more than just a single pair of feet, followed by a a rush-like wind that sprung outwards towards me. I remember standing very still in place, watching the door swing open & bounce back with a painfully slow creaking. I didn't want to move. I was more paranoid that there was a living person camping away in here, & I had just intruded in their space.
I glanced to my left side from where I had just come from down the hall, questioning where on earth Isaac was. The sound of my blood suddenly became audible, and I could hear it thrashing in my veins. I squatted down, shrinking myself into the shadows, making myself still as I stared into that room. It was a fairly small room, if someone was in there they would have popped out by now. It has to be an entity.
I need to get out, was a thought playing on loop in my mind.
Fear. Don't feel fear, I reminded myself.
Pushing all anxious emotions aside & ensuring myself no one was trying to kill me, I slowly made my way to the door again. I swear to you, I could not physically walk any further than the threshold of that doorway. It wasn't fear that prevented me, it felt like an energy barrier with the power of steel hit me, & my own intuition was screaming: danger, danger, danger.
I peered my head in ever so slightly, seeing nothing, but feeling an entire unseen world of darkness. As I stared, turning my head to the far right corner of the room, I heard something move in the direction of my eyes. Not letting myself step back this time, I kept my eyes focused on the darkness of the room, shining my dim light as I scanned every inch. And just as that moment came, I could've sworn I saw a shadow quickly pass along the ceiling, and a sphere-like feeling of energy punctured my chest & made me lose my breath. The second I saw what appeared to be someone crawling in the form of a black mass with the guttural sound of a beast, the entire energy of that hallway changed, and suddenly, the overall vibe of the building became wicked, angry, and focused entirely on me.
And just as quickly as this event played out, my light I was holding was drained. And I knew it had to have been from whatever I just saw.
Suddenly, the hallway felt very crowded, and it felt like the air was becoming thin around me. I couldn't take my eyes off of that room I had just saw. Were my eyes playing tricks on me?
My anxiety was heavy & I knew right then I was in a danger. I'm not one to ever run from a paranormal encounter, but this energy wanted to hurt me. That was more than clear. They wanted me out, and I knew in this scenario I needed to obey.
"We need to get out right now. I can't do this," a familiar voice entered my ears, snapping me from my own fear. Isaac was standing still in the middle of the spiraling hallway. I hadn't even noticed him creep up with all that was happening.
"I'm feeling so anxious right now," he said as he wiped away sweat, bending down & dropping his hands on his thighs, seemingly unaware of the shadows that gathered around us.
"Something bad is going to happen in this hallway if we don't get out right now. I can feel it!" He said out of breath, almost as if he'd just run a marathon. I noted the noticeable shaking of his hands, and the incapability to stand still as he said it. He was feeling something. Hardcore.
Was he feeling the piercing energy of that shadow I just saw without even knowing it?
Unsure of what would happen next from the deathly vibe that penetrated my gut, and knowing that this could turn dangerous with how much anxiety & fear we both were unwillingly secreting, we made our way to exit of the building. Out of respect of the wishes of the dead, we knew we must leave them in peace. I found myself stepping around what I felt like were people in the hallway right in front of me. The entire feeling of this building had completely shifted. It resembled the feeling of fear of not knowing what would happen next that I would assume you feel right before you die. I followed closely behind Isaac, feeling as though someone was following us out. I didn't want to glance back, or up, for that matter.
We went outside to regroup, and Isaac didn't want to talk about whatever had happened to him. I could still see the noticeable shake & discomfort that filled him when I asked about it. There was a fear in his blue eyes; anxiety, deeper than just the surface. I knew we both needed a deep cleansing after what we had just encountered. He wasn't as spiritually sensitive as I was, & to see him react so greatly was very concerning.
But what was this feeling of being pulled back in that I was having? Was I crazy to want to return? Despite all the negative energy we felt, I could still feel that strange pull of light begging me to return, to finally release them from this shadowy & sheltered box of sorrow.
But trust me when I say, we did not leave empty handed. That shadow that clung to the ceiling, crawling and creeping along that rotting roof was now slithering through my mind. The remanent of my senses were unknowingly being ground down & weakened by this darkness, and that following evening would prove to be one of the most impenetrable, agonizing & petrifying nights I would ever experience.
To be continued...